03 Aug The Psychology of Confidence: Building Blocks
A better you is better for others
To be confident is so much easier said than done. Whether it be psychological mental forces or who we see when we look in the mirror, it can sometimes feel impossible to be completely self-confident in who we are. Some people may argue that being authentic is the key to confidence while others say that self-acceptance will surely make you confident. What I find interesting about confidence stems from how Oxford dictionary defines it: “the state of feeling certain about the truth of something”. If you make confidence your truth, the rest will fall into place.
One of the biggest enemies to self-confidence is self-doubt. Just like we defined self-confidence as the truth about something, self-doubt is defined as the uncertainty about the truth of anything. Talk about a rivalry. Some characteristics of this antagonist includes self-criticisms, blaming others, believing your undeserving of good things, and focusing on the negatives. If there was an angel on your right shoulder and a devil on the left one, self-doubt would be on the left shoulder… and we need to shut them up.
Confidence isn’t as easy as deciding to wake up one day with all the self-esteem in the world. It takes times, and it takes building blocks. Some of those building blocks include avoiding comparing yourself to others, cutting out negative self-talk, and avoiding perfectionism. Psychologist Albert Bandura once said that demonstration of ability is also an important way to build confidence – once you know you’re good at something, you become more confident in doing it. Could this mean that learning to be good at being you could be the answer to increasing your confidence?
Fake it ‘til you make it
If all else fails, fake it until you make it. But not so fast! Building confidence can actually be learned by practicing being okay with being uncomfortable. Use what you don’t know to grow! The biggest factor is to “act as if” – act as if you have what you want or are who you want to be. This is related to visualization techniques that can be practice in therapy to encourage success identified challenge areas. You can basically trick yourself into confidence!
How therapy can boost self-confidence
Addressing self-confidence concerns in therapy can be extremely helpful at increasing self-esteem, exploring your strengths over weaknesses, and learning coping skills for when criticisms or mistakes sneak back in. In transforming your life for the better, a therapist can be there to support you through every step – and building block – along the way.
If you’re interested in learning more about the building blocks of self-confidence and how to achieve the best version of yourself, I welcome you to book an appointment with me at Still Waters Psychology
Author: Kennedy Patterson