21 Nov Parents Set the Culture: How Your Energy Shapes Your Child’s Sport Experience
I grew up in a sports family.
My dad never missed a game, and I remember scanning the stands to find his face — more than I watched the scoreboard.
Even as an adult and psychologist, that memory stays with me.
Because kids don’t just look for your approval.
They feel your nervous system.
The Power of Parental Energy
In my Calgary practice, I’ve learned that the emotional tone of a household matters more than any coaching technique.
Children regulate through co-regulation — meaning they borrow their parents’ nervous system until they learn to manage their own.
If a parent is anxious, frustrated, or emotionally unavailable, kids mirror it.
If a parent is calm, grounded, and emotionally attuned, kids absorb that stability.
The “Ride Home Rule”
The ride home after a game or practice is sacred territory.
It’s often the first space where emotions surface — joy, disappointment, frustration.
But it’s also the moment where parents unintentionally add pressure.
I teach what I call The Ride Home Rule:
No game analysis right after the game. Only connection.
Say things like,
- “I loved watching you play.”
- “How did it feel out there?”
- “What was your favorite part?”
When feedback replaces connection, kids learn to play for your reactions, not their own joy.
What I See in Calgary Families
In our city’s fast-paced, achievement-driven environment, parents mean well — they want their kids to succeed, fit in, and feel confident.
But when every conversation becomes about performance, kids internalize one message: “I’m loved when I do well.”
That’s why I spend as much time working with parents as I do with athletes.
Sport psychology isn’t just for the player — it’s for the whole system.
Building a Healthier Sport Culture
The culture of youth sport in Calgary can change one family at a time.
It starts with regulation.
If you want your child to stay calm under pressure, practice staying calm yourself.
Take a breath before giving feedback.
Ask permission before offering advice.
Closing Thought
Your energy teaches more than your words ever will.
If you want your child to play free, you have to model freedom — emotional freedom, self-compassion, and perspective.
At Still Waters Psychology Calgary, our therapists work with parents and athletes to create emotionally safe, connected family systems that make sport a place of growth, not anxiety.
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