23 Jul From Skill to Spark: Rethinking Success in Summer Camps
From Skill to Spark: Rethinking Success in Summer Camps
By Ashley Shaw
Still Waters Psychology – Raising Champions: Ashley’s Corner
For the parents, coaches, and educators who just want their kids to have a great summer—but feel the creeping pressure of performance… this one’s for you.
You’ve signed them up. The sports intensives. The theater program. The dance workshop. Maybe they’re finally trying that coding camp or art school you’ve been eyeing.
And then the whisper starts…
“I hope they come out stronger.”
“She better land that double pirouette.”
“He really needs to make the A team this fall.”
“This needs to be worth it.”
It’s subtle. Sometimes it even comes from love. But make no mistake: that whisper of performance pressure? Our kids feel it.
The Hidden Cost of Outcome Obsession
Summer is supposed to be lighter. A break from school. A season of exploration and joy.
But in a world that values gold stars, early excellence, and accelerated achievement—it’s easy for camps and summer intensives to quietly morph into evaluation zones.
Will they learn enough?
Will they stand out?
Will they fall behind?
These questions don’t just weigh on us. They weigh on them.
What happens when your child walks into a 5-day sports development camp with the quiet belief that their worth will be measured by how quickly they master a skill?
What happens when a child leaves a dance intensive feeling behind—not because they didn’t learn, but because they didn’t perform at someone else’s level?
Here’s what happens: They lose the spark. And when the spark goes out, learning stops being fun. It starts being a burden.
The New Paradigm: Joy-Driven Learning
We’re not against skill building. Quite the opposite. We’re here for excellence. We’re here for effort.
But let’s reimagine what success looks like inside these summer programs.
Success isn’t landing the skill.
It’s wanting to come back the next day.
It’s asking a curious question.
It’s trying something scary.
It’s laughing during the break.
It’s staying engaged even when the skill doesn’t come easily.
That’s what lights the fire that lasts long after the camp ends.
Progress Over Perfection: 3 Ways to Shift the Narrative
Whether your child is at camp now or heading into one soon, here are 3 powerful reframes you can model:
1. Ask about experience, not performance.
Instead of “Did you get it right?” try:
“What was the funniest moment today?”
“Did anything surprise you?”
“What did you learn about yourself?”
2. Celebrate effort, not outcome.
Notice when they try again after failing. Or when they help someone else. Let them know you see the invisible wins.
3. Speak possibility, not pressure.
“I love that you’re learning this” is more powerful than “You better get this.”
Because when they’re not afraid of failing, they’re free to grow.
Let the Spark Lead
If your child walks away from this summer more curious—that’s a win.
If they feel more confident trying something new—that’s a win.
If they feel proud of their effort, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect—that’s a massive win.
Let the spark of learning—not the pressure of mastery—be what drives this season.
Because when we raise kids who love the process, we’re building the foundation for lifelong resilience, motivation, and joy.
Is your child in a summer camp or intensive this month?
Tell me how they’re showing up with courage, curiosity, or play. I’d love to hear your story.
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