A 15-year-old skater once sat across from me in my Calgary office and said, “I feel guilty taking a day off.” She wasn’t being dramatic — she was being honest. Somewhere along the way, she learned that rest equals weakness. The Problem with “No Days Off” In our...
I once asked a teenage basketball player what he loved most about his team. He said, “Even when we lose, we still joke around on the bus.” That answer stopped me in my tracks. Because what he described wasn’t just team chemistry — it was belonging. What...
A few years ago, I worked with a young hockey player in Calgary who told me, “I don’t get angry — I just play harder.” He said it with pride. But weeks later, after a tough loss, he broke down in my office — tears spilling...
I’ll never forget a young hockey player who told me, “I wish I could love it again.” That’s when I knew — joy is the first casualty of burnout. The Joy-Performance Paradox Parents often assume that fun and discipline can’t coexist. But in psychology, joy isn’t the...
I’ve worked with athletes who can run faster, lift heavier, and train harder than anyone — but still crumble under pressure. Why? Because the body doesn’t care how skilled you are if your nervous system is in survival mode. The Physiology of Pressure When an athlete’s stress...
I often tell my Calgary clients: comparison is the thief of confidence. But for kids growing up in competitive sports, comparison is everywhere — in scores, rankings, highlights, and social media. And it’s exhausting. The Hidden Cost of Comparison When athletes constantly measure themselves against others, their self-worth...
As a coach, I’ve noticed how the tension on the bench among athletes shifts. If the coaches or other adults are too intense and focused on winning, the athletes become tense. They make more mistakes, they talk negatively and criticize their teammates more. They pick up...
As a coach, I’ve seen it many times. An extremely talented athlete with incredible potential, shattered by a serious injury. They’ve put so much time and energy into being an athlete, that they have built their entire identity on their sport. But when that’s gone,...
I grew up in a sports family. My dad never missed a game, and I remember scanning the stands to find his face — more than I watched the scoreboard. Even as an adult and psychologist, that memory stays with me. Because kids don’t just look...
I’ll never forget a teenage hockey player I worked with a few years ago. He’d just been cut from a rep team, and his parents were devastated. But he wasn’t. “It sucks,” he told me, “but I know I’ll be okay.” That single sentence perfectly captured...